Until we meet again - Good bye

Hello loves.
I would like to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy Hanukkah. Many of you are probably on winter-break, and we all know what that break is filled with - books. And more books.

I've probably told you guys this before but I want to talk about it again.

I - as many other people, read to escape reality. I'll read anything fictional. We all have problems and we cope with them in our own way. Books became my favorite home. I could be in the book world for hours, without feeling like I was missing out on my "real life".

My passion grew in to a blog - because I wanted to share my love and find others who loved books as much as me.

And then it just grew. I've told you about it before. Bottom line - I'm very grateful for everything TeenBookaLover has given me. I started with a name. A blogpost. And look at us now. me and my blog. My little baby. Not so little anymore. This blog is my proudest creation. I will never create something as perfect as TeenBookaLover. This blog have grown into something too big for even me to handle. I don't even know if it's a part of me anymore.
I feel pressured to write these days, to review, to host events, to attend events, drink champagne with strangers, to live a life I didn't even decide for me. I kind of miss the times I had to BUY my own books. The times when I was just a normal fangirl. A book nerd.

I'm not saying that wish it all undone, not at all. I've learned a lot the book industry, I've met some pretty amazing people and I've never been limited in my reading. The opposite. I was given room to bloom.

But I didn't do this to be able to call myself "one of Sweden's biggest book bloggers" or "Swedens youngest August prize ambassador". I didn't do it for all the cool partnerships. I didn't even know that big book bloggers got all their books for free - until I became one.

I did it because I love to read books. And I'm good at reading. And then I became good at reviewing.

When I'm passionate about something I put down every single ounce of my energy on the work. I drain myself - and at the end of the day I've created something too bright for even me to look at. It's a gift and a curse.

And with that said - it's time for me to say good bye to all of you guys - while I'm at the top. While I still got things under control. These 2 ½ years with you readers have been very unique to me. Never have I met so nice and warm people as you guys. We share a bond I will miss with my whole heart. You've helped me through my hardest times in life. You've always been there for me, and I hope I've helped you in any way with my reviews and book posts. You are my friends. Never forget that. I regret letting the glamour take me away from my reading, but I never regret meeting all of you. Never.

I'm done with hiding from my reality. It's actually pretty amazing at the moment. I have some great friends, family that loves me, school is going somewhat good, I'm not as mentally sick as I used to be, I think I might have a crush on a guy but most importantly - i'm happy. I'm ready to live. I'm ready to start loving myself. I will never stop creating beautiful things, for that's in my nature.
I'm only 18. I think it's time for me to explore other aspects of me - and life.

Until we meet again - Good bye.

~ Yours truly
xoxo Lihini.